


Broken Hearts of the Forest

by lovelyliam



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Comfort/Angst, Diary/Journal, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Epistolary, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Harry-centric, Hurt/Comfort, Kidnapping, Letters, M/M, Rape, Self-Hatred, cottage, forest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-25
Updated: 2016-04-25
Packaged: 2018-06-04 11:53:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6656791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovelyliam/pseuds/lovelyliam
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Is it possible to fall in love with the smell of someone?<br/>Is it possible to fall in love with the way someone writes?<br/>Is it possible to fall in love with someone you've never met in person?<br/>Someone whom you've never had a real conversation with.<br/>Someone who's only written letters to you.<br/>I can tell you, it is.<br/>I'm not sure though, if it's possible to be there to safe the one you fell in love with too, to be there when they need you the most.</p><p>Or the one where Harry falls in love with Louis over the letters they leave each other in the little cottage in the forest.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Broken Hearts of the Forest

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: mention of self hate, rape and an abusive relationship.
> 
> Author’s note:  
> Hello, it was an honour to write one of my first works for Ficathon. I hope you will enjoy reading this story as much as I enjoyed writing it. Please don’t read the story if the warnings given above can trigger you. Plus if you’re here to read some romance story, I’m sorry to disappoint you, because it’s barely there. 
> 
> A special thank you to Beth for betaing this story. And of course a thank you to the Ficathon Administration, without them this wouldn't be possible!
> 
> Thanks to Dara for translating this work to Russian. Link translation:  
> https://ficbook.net/readfic/4557543

On a beautiful autumn morning in October Harry decided to go out. He wanted to go to the forest to capture the beautiful autumn colours he loved dearly. So after taking his camera, his camera bag and his notebook, he wrapped himself up in a shawl, gloves on his hands and his winter coat. Now he was ready to go and fight the coldness that started to kick in since winter was approaching too. Harry got into his car and drove himself to the nearest forest.

Memories flooded his mind, he used to go here with his dad when he was younger. Autumn always had been his favourite season because the ground was covered in autumn leaves. He fell in love with the colours. The fact that his dad would let him take home some of the leaves he found and some pine cones and some nuts too also helped. When they came home his mum would always let him decorate his room with the stuff he found and for some reason that made little Harry feel like he ruled the world.

Harry had dropped going out to find leaves, pine cones and nuts when he reached the age of 11, but still treasured the walks through the woods with his dad. It was their place and that meant a lot to Harry. When his parents went through a divorce that’s the only thing that stayed the same. They would still go for those walks. 

With his camera bag slung around his shoulder Harry left his car. He locked it and put the keys safely in his pocket. The bag didn’t stay closed for long, he soon found some places he desperately wanted to take a shot of. He took his camera in his hand and took a few pictures. The thing was, if he was at home in his studio he could replace every aspect of the picture until it was picture perfect, but out in the nature it wasn’t appreciated if you did that. This made that not all pictures were perfect.

Harry spotted a squirrel and followed it around, trying to take a picture of it. The squirrel was running around rapidly and so was Harry. It wasn’t easy taking a picture of a living being you couldn’t communicate with. Harry lost the squirrel a few times, but found it again. 

After about half an hour Harry had lost the squirrel, he couldn’t find it anymore. It seemed like it had disappeared into air. Just poof, gone. Harry looked around, he was met with a little cottage. He had never seen it before despite being in the woods countless times. The cottage must’ve been there for ages already though, it had plants growing on it.

Curiosity got the best of Harry, he walked up to the cottage and peeked through the window. He could see a the end couch with a few blankets on it and a little table with two stools. There was a table cloth draped over the table and a vase with a flower, which was probably fake, stood on it. It seemed cosy to Harry.

Harry walked around the cottage, taking pictures of it. He hoped he could edit those pictures at home and that they would be really beautiful. He could already imagining a printed picture of the cottage hanging above his kitchen table.

As Harry was curious to what the inside of the cottage looked liked, he tried to open the door. He didn’t think it would open up, but it did. Harry stumbled into the little house, feeling at home quickly. The interior of the cottage was really homey. It didn’t seem abonnent even though it should be, as it’s in the middle of a forest. And even Harry who thought that he know the forest like the back of his hand, didn’t know of the existence of this cute little place.

Now that Harry was inside the cottage he could perfectly see what it looked like on the inside. It wasn’t much bigger than Harry’s photostudio. It was ‘L’ shaped, the other door Harry had seen probably led to the other part of the cottage as it was rectangular shaped from the outside. Opposite the door was a couch with blankets on it like Harry’d seen through the window. On the short wall stood a love seat and opposite of it was a fire place. Next to the door was a cupboard and the table he’d seen already was just underneath the little window. It was the only source of light besides the fireplace. 

Harry sat down in the love seat after taking a few pictures of the inside of the little house. Harry looked through his photos and removed a few that weren’t high quality. 

His stomach rumbled after some time, he didn’t know how far from the parking lot he was, so he got up and searched the cottage in hope of something to eat. He would leave afterwards, so he could get himself a proper meal, but it would be nice to have something to fill his stomach already. Harry found a package of crackers, he smelled them and decided that they were good to go. He took two, took his camera which he had left on the couch and left the cottage.

Now he had to get back to his car, but he didn’t exactly know how he would manage that. He knew he’d like to get back to the cottage, even though it seemed weird. The place brought was peaceful and he could really do some editing in there, he thought. 

He looked closely if he could see a path as the cottage was used more often. There was a little track and Harry decided to follow it and if he came on the big path again he would just have to follow the blue posts and he’d get to the parking lot.

He ended up getting on the big, paved pathway. Then he just followed the blue posts, which came into view soon and he was relieved that he’d find his way out of the forest. Now he just had to count the posts until he was by the parking lot again, so he could find the cottage another time.

“Hi,” a man said as he crossed paths with Harry. The man wasn’t that old, he looked like he was around Harry’s age. He didn’t look Harry in the eyes while greeting though, which confused Harry. He wore his hood, but his feathery brown hair was still peeking out for a it. The man was pale, incredibly pale. He didn’t look healthy, but Harry didn’t want to judge. 

Harry shook his head, almost forgot to return the greeting as he was too occupied with his thoughts about the man. When Harry saw people like the man he’d just seen he just wished that he could photograph them and get to know their stories. Those people really intrigued them, you could see that they carry a secret with them. Or maybe it was just Harry who saw that.

As Harry finally got back to his car, he wanted to write down the number of blue posts that he’d seen since he left the cottage. He reached to his hip, where his camera bag normally would be, but it wasn’t there. Shit, he left it at the cottage. He forgot his camera bag which holds his diary. He rested his head on the steering wheel, how could he forget that? 

In the end he typed the number of posts into a memo on his phone, but it wasn’t ideal. He would return to the cottage when he got time. It could be tomorrow, but it could also been in a week since he didn’t know how much time he’d have to spend on his work yet.

-

It was three days later when Harry had time to go to the cottage to get his camera bag and diary. 

Harry drove himself to the woods. He got out of his car and closed the door behind him, locking it down securely after getting his camera out. He was going to snap some more picture because he only captured the squirrel the last time he came here.

Harry checked his phone for the note, he knew the number of blue posts by heart already, but still had to check it. Just to be sure.

Harry walked the path to the little cottage enjoying the beautiful autumn colours around him. He loved looking at the trees which lost most of their leaves and the blanket of leaves on the floor overwhelmed him. 

When he saw the cottage again it was even more beautiful to him then it had been before. The white walls of the cottage came out beautifully in the autumn colours, he really had to take some more pictures of it. 

Hesitatingly he walked to the door and tried if it would give in too, this time. It did and Harry couldn’t have been more relieved. He looked around and saw his camera bag and diary lying on the table joined with a letter. The letter made Harry really curious, what could possibly in it?  
He picked the letter up from the table and sat down in the love seat. The letter read:

Dear intruder,

I see you forgot your bag and diary. I traced your diary if I could find your address so I could so I could send your belongings back to you, but you idiot didn’t leave it in there. So I hope you’ll find your way back here, and now you’re reading this you’ve done it. Congrats!

I don’t mind sharing this place, but I got a few rules. 1. I am here on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, I don’t want you to be here too and that’s just for your own safety. 2. Bring your own food. (Yes, I noticed that cracker that was missing) 3. Don’t tell everyone about this cottage, it isn’t mine but I would prefer it if nobody else came here. 4. This comes with 3, but no bringing people here. 5. This comes with 3 and 4 but no ‘making love’ or whatever here. 6. No sleeping in here, that’s for safety too by the way. We don’t want you getting murdered by a bear, if they’re even here.

That was it, I hope you don’t mind them. I won’t mind your presence here. Oh, and just don’t leave any personal stuff or stuff you don’t want to lose here. Whatever gets here is as much mine as yours, excluding food.

Yours sincerely,  
Louis

Harry read the letter again, laughing a bit. This Louis definitely was a bit sassy. He didn’t get the first rule, but was fine going along with it. He didn’t want to upset the other man or boy, he wasn’t sure. 

Harry took his pen out of the inner pocket of his jacket and ripped a page out of his journal to write Louis back. 

Dear Louis,

Intruder here, well actually my name is Harry. I would definitely like to share this cottage with you for as far we can call this sharing. I don’t have any problems with the rules, and I’ll bring my own food. Sorry for stealing your cracker, I’ll bring you a treat for it :) Don’t worry about the snooping around, it’s fine, I shouldn’t have left my stuff in first place. Not that I intended to leave it behind. Not planning on sleeping here, seems way too cold out here. I need to bring way too much blankets to be warm, since I don’t know how the fireplace works. And if I did I would be too scared to burn the place down. Don’t wanna be eaten by bears too. Well thank for your generosity, I appreciate that you let me stay here too!

Yours sincerely,  
Harry

Harry read the letter once again, was it okay? Wouldn’t Louis be weirded out by this letter? Was this really okay? Why didn’t he want Harry to be there when he was there? He could protect himself so why would Louis want to protect him? Then he shook his head, enough. No need to focus on the negative, but on the positive.

Harry folded the letter and put it in his diary and then decided to leave, it was getting dark already. He took his back and placed his camera in its bag. He slung the bag on his shoulder and closed the door. He looked around once again, making sure he wasn’t forgetting something this time. 

Harry made a mental note to bring some candles to decorate the cottage a bit, it was cosy, but still missed that homey feeling. A candle would definitely help getting that homey feeling that Harry was missing. 

-

The next time Harry came there was a letter waiting too and that became something usual.

Dear Harry,

Nice to ‘meet’ you intruder. You’ve got a nice name! Don’t get your hopes up to high about sharing this cottage, I’m not a good cottage mate. Hell I don’t even want you around here when I am too, but that’s something I don’t want to talk about. It’s nothing personal really, it’s just to protect you as I wrote earlier.

Glad you didn’t mind me snooping around, sorry again. I won’t do it another time. You didn’t leave anything here this time, I see. Glad you’ve learned ;) 

And about the fire place, well just put some wood in the place. Built a nice wigwam-like edifice and put some small twigs in it, light those up and voila you got a fire. The twigs and wood is in the little garage we have, I think you’ve noticed it. Please write me when we need more wood so I can get some. 

Thanks for the treat in advance! :)

Yours sincerely,  
Louis

-

Dear Louis,

It’s nice to ‘meet’ you too. I respect your choice not to really want to meet me, you don’t know what you’re missing. Just kidding, just kidding. If you feel like telling me the reason why, do, but don’t feel pressured. I am fine with whatever. Thanks for the fireplace instructions, tried it out and it worked! I didn’t burn the place down as you see! Before you say that it’s impossible, don’t I am one clumsy piece of human. I brought you a blueberry muffin, I hope it still tastes good and that you like it. It’s in the box with the blue ribbon on it. I also brought some candles, I thought it would be lovely to give this place a what homier feeling. They are scented, so I hope that’s fine with you. I brought one that smells like blueberries, one that smells like vanilla and one that smells like cookies. I’d advise you not to lit them all at the same time. Well that was it for now!

Yours sincerely,  
Harry

-

Dear Harry,

Thanks for the muffin! It was delicious! Did you make it yourself? The ones I always get from the supermarket aren’t as lovely as this one, it was heavenly. 

Don’t worry about the fireplace, it’s all good. And as long as you don’t suffocate yourself with your clumsiness it’s all good, right?

I lit the cookies scented candle and it was good, definitely. I’ll bring some stuff too to make this place a little homier. I agree with you that it’s a bit impersonal and boring. Just never gave much thought to it as I don’t go here for the hominess. I’ll leave some of my paintings here orso, I’ll figure something out.

These keep getting smaller, sorry. I just don’t really know what to tell you. Keep it up!

Yours sincerely,  
Louis

-

Dear Louis,

I’m glad you liked the muffin, I indeed did make it myself. I parttime work in a bakery and made this lovely fella myself. It’s my favourite one we have, so I’m glad you like it too. At least you got good taste buds! Just kidding (not really). The clumsiness is alright, I’ve lived with it for 21 years, so I’m kind of used to it now. I’m glad you agree with me on making this place homier, it’d suck if you didn’t want that. Now that we are bringing personal stuff here, maybe we should keep a lock on the door too. Just to protect our belongings, I know you mentioned not to bring stuff with lots of valuable here, but I was just thinking. Plus you mentioned safety a few times and maybe it’s safer for us too if we can lock the cottage whenever we feel like it. I think sleeping in here still goes too far, but when in need, it could happen you know. Sorry for the rambling, I was just thinking about it. I’ll print some of the pictures I took as I’m parttime photographer too. I hope you’ll like them and I’d love to see your paintings. It’s lovely to get to know you a little more and I feel like doing that through leaving personal stuff here is a beautiful way to do that. That was it for now. 

Yours sincerely,  
Harry

-

Dear Harry,

Thanks for the lovely muffin again and I got nothing wrong with my taste buds, but I already know that. I’d love to try some more stuff from your bakery, it’s not yours but it’s easier to mention it that way. 

I’m 23 years old right now. Just thought that maybe you’d like to know that. I work at a library the days that I ain’t here, excluding Sundays. 

I think that getting a lock on here is a really good idea. I like that it gives some more protection of us and our belongings. I never really thought of that, thank you. I’d like to introduce a new rule too than, you have to lock it when you’re in here. Just for safety. I just want you to be safe okay, please just do it for me. I don’t have any money on me now, but I’ll leave you some so you can buy one okay. Thank you for this, Harry.

I think it’s nice to share meaningful things with each other. I hope to never meet you (I would love to, you seem lovely, but again I don’t want to play with your safety). So leaving a part of me here for you seems a right thing to do. I hope to see one of your works, I’m sure it’ll be lovely.

I brought this painting with me today. I painted it when I was about 17 years old. I was in a dark place at that time, hence the colours. But it means a lot to me, so that’s why I brought it here. I hope you’ll like it.

Yours sincerely,  
Louis

-

Dear Louis,

I brought you a brownie this time :). I hope you like chocolate, if not than I’m sorry. Librarian, I never thought that. It seems like a nice job though, if you’re into books. I’m not really into books, but I’d love to get back to reading again. I used to read so much before leaving my parents house. I just don’t really have time for it anymore, but I should make some time for some books of good quality. I bought a lock already, don’t mind about the money, this one’s on me. It was my idea, so you shouldn’t have to pay for it. I placed your key underneath your packet of crackers. I absolutely love your painting. I can see the art in it, you are talented Louis. I would love to see more of your work. I don’t mind the dark colours, if that’s the way your mind speaks at that moment then it’s fine. It’s better to express your feelings than it bottle them up anyway. The print I brought with me is of a squirrel. Funny’s that it is the story about me finding this place. I followed this fella around, got lost and then found this lovely cottage. 

Yours sincerely,  
Harry

p.s I don’t want you to mention safety in your next letter as you use that word way too often. I am fine if live places me in danger then so be it. You have to let go Louis, have a little fun in life!

-

Dear Harry,

I love the brownie, it was even better than the blueberry muffin. Sorry to break it to you, but chocolate is always better than any kind of fruit. So bring me as much chocolate as you want to. Muffins, cookies, brownie, I don’t care.

For the reading part, I can leave you some book here. I have read enough to leave you some good titles. Please take the books home with you and never return them to me. See it as a thank you for the food you bring me.

I left you money for the lock please take it, I can never thank you enough for it. I know you don’t want me to say it but I like how it provides you of safety. I have brought to many people in danger already and I don’t want to do that to you too. You don’t deserve it. You only deserve the best, you shouldn’t even be writing with me to begin with. 

I love the picture you brought. I think the story is cute, it’s lovely. It sounds like a kid getting too caught up in something and then losing their mum. 

For the having fun part, I just can’t. Having fun never brought something good to me. I don’t deserve to have fun, as it only ruins things. It ruins opportunities and it makes other people feel bad. Having fun is no good thing, Harry. 

Yours,  
Louis

-

 

Dear Louis,

I’ll remember to bring you chocolate goodies the next time, a simple vanilla muffin it is for now though. I just want to let you try the best things we have, chocolate only would be a bit boring. Don’t you think so? Thanks for the books, well there aren’t any here yet, but just thanks. I appreciate it and I’d love to take them home with me, but they’d look great here too. Books give off that homey sense too, you know. Just think about it, besides I will probably read them here only anyway. As this is the place I find my peace. Thank you for the money, you shouldn’t have done that. I split it though as it was way too much for the lock. One a more serious note, I don’t mind being in danger. I don’t see the danger you’re seeing, Louis. Everything seems fine to me and maybe I don’t have all the information, but there’s no need to protect me. I am a grown man and I can take care of myself. I appreciate you looking out for me though, it’s really sweet. You just don’t have to Louis, please just focus on yourself. Your last paragraph makes me believe that you are in a bad place, and I don’t want to judge so if it’s not true than I’m sorry for saying so. I just want you to know that you are valuable, you are allowed to have fun and having fun is NOT bad. I don’t know who told you that, but it’s not true. Maybe it can cause some problems sometime, yes, but that doesn’t mean that it’s bad. It may seem weird, but over the weeks I have come to care about you. I may not have a face to you, but I do know about you. If you ever want to tell me something, please do.

Yours,  
Harry

-

Dear Harry,

Thank you for the muffin, it was lovely, chocolate is better though. But I agree with you about trying different things.

For the books I’d like it if you did take them home with you. I don’t want to leave them here. They are yours once I have brought them here and whatever is here is ours. So, I’d appreciate it if you took them with you. I hope you’ll enjoy the ones I brought you.

Thank you for your concern, but I am fine. Nothing’s wrong, I just don’t like bringing people in danger. I’ll stop that now though as this turns down the mood. I don’t want that. 

I’ve strangely become to care about you too. It indeed is weird, but I think sharing a place does that. Besides we’ve been writing too. It feels like I know you personally even though we’ve never really met.

Yours,  
Louis

-

Harry walked around the cottage, he was getting some wood so that he could make a fire. It was early December and getting much colder. In October it was okay to sit in the cottage without making a fire, but now it was way too cold. Both guys had dragged some blankets to the cottage but it wasn’t enough to keep one warm.

Harry opened the back door and took some pieces of wood out of it. He closed the door again and locked it. He tucked the wood underneath his arm and walked to the other side of the little home. He entered it and dropped the wood on the table. 

Harry felt the pockets of his jacket, where was his lighter. He wasn’t going to be able to lit the fire if he didn’t find it. He felt his pockets another time, the pockets on his jeans too and he searched the bag he brought along. The lighter was nowhere to be found. He probably lost it on his way.

He decided to search the cottage, maybe Louis kept some matches. He started off with the cupboard, as it was most likely to keep your matches. He searched every shelf, but didn’t find much. Just some scissors, a roll of tape, the packet of crackers and some lost papers. 

Harry built the fire, still thinking about a place he could possibly find matches. Maybe Louis kept some by the wood, it was the only possibility he had left. So Harry wrapped his shawl around his neck again and prepared himself for the December cold. 

Once he came in the little storage place he took a good look. Where could you possibly keep matches. His eyes fell on a little red side, it could be a box that holds matches. He reached out to get it from the shelf. It wasn’t a box, it was a little book. It looked a bit like his own diary. Harry knew he shouldn’t, but he opened it out of curiosity. In Louis’ neath writing stood ‘They say writing is supposed to help you, so I’m going to give it a try.’ That’s when Harry closed the little book. 

It was a diary and he knew he wasn’t supposed to read it. Hell, Louis didn’t keep it in there to be found. But Harry needed to read it, he knew the answer as to why Louis wants to keep him safe was in there. The answers to all his questions were in it, he needed them. He didn’t bother Louis about it, but he still needed those answers. 

He almost forgot why he was in the storage, but just before exiting again he remembered. He looked around once again. His eye fell on another reddish boxlike figure and reached out for it. This time it were matches, thank goodness. He was definitely going to need those as he had planned to read all that was in the book he just found.

Harry locked the door again and went to inside. He lit the fire with the help of the matches and sat down on the couch. He wrapped himself in the blankets that were lying around. The blue one was his favourite because it smelled like Louis, or at least that’s what he guessed. Harry opened the book and started reading.

They say writing is supposed to help you, so I’m going to give it a try. I am Louis Tomlinson, 21 years old and in a relationship with Ryan McGregor. We’ve been happily in love for a little over two years, but things are shifting around now. Our relationship is changing.

In the beginning it was all sweet and loving. He used to take me out on cute little dates. Came up with little surprises and it was all just easy and fun. I wasn’t worrying about anything other than passing school. 

I was in my Senior year of high school and he was in his first year of college. We met when I visited the college he was attending, which was going to be the one I would attend too. He was friends with the guy who was showing me around and we hit it off pretty well during lunch break. He asked my number and a thread of texts started. He asked me out on a date and not even a month later we were in a relationship.

As I said it was easy back then, when I graduated high school and started college too things started to change a bit. He desperately wanted us to live together. I didn’t think it was necessary yet. We lived in the same town, saw each other three times a week excluding the times we saw each other at school. Besides, my mum wasn’t too fond of him. She told me that he was bad luck, but I didn’t want to believe her. Though I agreed with her on not moving out yet.

It took him half a year to bribe me enough to move in with him. He had rented an apartment when he first asked me to get something together. Our first weeks of living together were fine, but when the exams came around things started to get downhill. I guess the stress of passing was taking a toll on Ryan as he was barely passing any of his classes. He was too busy doing other things, he forgot to attend college most of the time. He didn’t have a reason to go there anymore as he had me where he wanted me, at least that’s what it seemed like. I only realised that later on.

He blamed me for not passing. At first I used to go against it, but after hearing it for over a hundred times I decided to give up. If he insisted so much that it was my fault, than it was probably true. I tried to help him though, I did most of the household and I reminded him of attending. It all seemed to make it worse. I was never doing enough. I still don’t know what he did when I wasn’t home. 

Ryan didn’t pass that year and dropped out of college. He decided that it was not for him. First it went better. Ryan was at home, I still did most of the household but he was helping me more and more. The stress faded and with that the problems seemed to vanish. 

It wasn’t for long though, when Ryan’s parents told him to get a job it started all over again. His parents told him that he needed to get us money, they didn’t want to pay for him anymore. He didn’t agree. He was furious. Why did his own parents do that to him. Once again he blamed me for it, I still don’t know why. But I know that it was my fault. I took extra shifts at work, but when I was almost failing I decided that it was no longer an option to work that much. Ryan still didn’t have a job, he said he was actively searching for one though. I didn’t know if I could believe that. It turned out that I couldn’t, well he did have a job but not one one would wish for.

He became a drug dealer. He didn’t have to do much to earn a lot and that’s what got to him. He has always been lazy. When I first found out I was furious, how could he take such a dangerous job? What was wrong with him? That was the first time it happened. His hand collided with my cheek for the first time that night. I don’t know if he had taken drugs and it had made him more aggressive or that it was just because I was being stupid. He knew what he was doing and he was doing it for us. So why was I even telling him not to do it? Why was I being so ungrateful? I was scared for him and his safety, but if I told him that he would be even angrier than me. He would say that he’d always protected me so he could protect himself as well. 

Ryan was home less often, leaving all of the household to me. He did little already, but now he reduced it to nothing. If I didn’t clean out house would be a mess, he would even be mad at me for not cleaning up. I knew what I had to do and I did, but sometimes even that wasn’t enough and Ryan exploded. Hands collided with cheeks again and sometimes even more than that. I had to try harder, I was failing the only two things I was good at. One being college, and the other cleaning. I had always been a neath person, so I didn’t mind the cleaning that much, but failing at it made me feel miserable. I looked up some tips and tricks on the internet in hope to get better. It didn’t seem to help. 

The worst thing happened not too long ago. We were at his parents’, they had asked us over for dinner. Ryan hadn’t told his parents about his job, neither did I think he was planning to but of course they asked about it. Ryan’s dad had done some talking at his work and he could get him a job. I was happy and told him he should take it instead of what he was doing now. He got mad, that moment nothing happened though. He declined the offer his dad made and told his parents to stay out of his business. We got kicked out. Ryan wasn’t welcome anymore unless he came to apologise. His mum smiled at me and told me she would text me. Don’t ask me why, but she did. 

Needless to say, he was mad and he took it out on me. I had caused this. Why did I think it was a good idea to tell his parents about his job? They surely were gonna ask about it, but what would I say? He screamed it all in my face, together with some words describing how fucking worthless I am. As if I didn’t know that yet. I can’t even make the man that loves me happy, what kind of failure is that? 

I can’t even describe what exactly happened. I can’t remember, I can only remember how much my stomach hurt afterwards. Oh, and the throbbing in my head, it was really bad. I passed out on the sofa afterwards.

Ryan always makes it up to me though, even when he had beaten the shit out of me he was really lovely afterwards. He would buy me little presents or make love to me. He said that he found it awful what he did, and promised again and again that he would never do it again. I maybe had to help him a little too, but it was not going to happen again. I kept believing it, Ryan wasn’t a bad person, it was just me triggering him to do this. It was my fault I asked this upon me, maybe not with words but my actions made it clear. 

I can’t say that I’m unhappy in this relationship, I am unhappy with myself though. Why am I so stupid that Ryan only can show it to me with hurting. Why can’t I just be normal? Why can’t I please my boyfriend as much as he does? Why am I such a fucking failure? Maybe Ryan doesn’t express himself in the right way, but it’s my fault that he has to do it at all. I am gonna be better. I’m going to be the best Louis I can be. 

Louis T.

Harry took a breath, shit this was some serious trouble Louis was in. He was keen to read further though as this was only the first entry of a few. Maybe Louis got out the relationship. It was about 2 years later now, so he should at least that’s what Harry thought. No one can stay in an abusive relationship for that long. Something told him that Louis was still with Ryan though.

Harry wrapped the blanket around him and turned the page to read further.

Here I am again. It’s about half a year since I’ve written the previous part. I lost this little booklet, but thankfully I found it again. I hope Ryan hasn’t read it, but I think he would’ve let me known if he did. He would probably tell me not to write such awful things about it, even though I am only portraying the truth.

The severe beatings happened more often as Ryan got more into the drugs dealing. He started to use the stuff he sold too, and that let to a lot more violence. And not only that, he got stricter too. He didn’t allow me to see my friends anymore, he’s basically forbidden me to have any contact with the world outside our house.

He didn’t want me to visit friends anymore or to have them over. First I could still see them in school, but he forced me to stop with school as well. He told me that he wanted to spend more time with me and that I had to quit school for it. I listened to him and did it. 

I broke contact with mum and the girls too, they can’t have someone that’s so weak around them. I can’t even stand up for myself, how would I ever stand up for them if Ryan would do something to them. I simply couldn’t. I need to protect them against that, and the only way I can do that is by breaking contact with them, so I did it. It hurt and I cried about it, when Ryan wasn’t home of course. He’d have a rage about how weak I was if I showed him that I’d cried.

I still don’t know how it happened but Ryan somehow made up with his parents. I am glad he did though, we have a weekly family dinner with them. It’s all really nice. His parents are really nice people and I don’t get how they made Ryan. They are nothing but loving people whereas Ryan seems to be heartless sometimes. He says he tries to help me and that he beats me because he loves me, but sometimes I really question that. I never saw my mum getting beaten up by any of her husbands.

I think Ryan’s mum senses that something’s going on in our house. I don’t think she knows what exactly, but she keeps questioning me. I keep going her vague answers, or I just start talking out something else. I don’t know how long I can suck it all in anymore. Thankfully writing helps and I may not write frequently but it does really help.

As for the beatings, they keep getting more severe. I pass out every few weeks. Just because he tries to choke me, or he slams my head against the wall or something like that. I don’t know what to do. I’ve tried to fight him, but that was the worst decision I’ve ever made. After that he never told me he was sorry anymore. He doesn’t make love to me as frequently anymore and I know that it’s my own fault. I shouldn’t have fought him. He is there to correct me if I need it and he did that, but I didn’t accept it.

I need to be better, I can’t keep this up anymore. I have gotten used to a part of my body that’s hurting. If I wouldn’t be this stupid, than that wouldn’t even have been a thing. I really need to up my game. I don’t have school anymore, so everything should be fine.

Louis T.

Harry had a hard time. He couldn’t even imagine what it would be like to cut his mum out of his life. Only thinking about it made him want to cry. He actually had tears in his eyes, Louis’ story was too much for him. He did want to know the ending though, so he continued reading.

A little poem was written down on the next page. I was crossed out afterwards, but Harry could still read it.

My body, his colourbook  
Pale, paperlike skin  
Angry red, burning skin with fingerprints  
Black spots fading into yellow, green, purple  
Browns of dried blood  
My heart a lifeless black hole.

It hit Harry hard, he cried. Tears were streaming down his face, those words held so much emotion. Only reading those six lines said enough. It was a scream for help. Harry still continued to read, determined to finish the other two entries.

I told his mum, I couldn’t keep it in anymore. She knows. I don’t know how I feel about it. It’s scary. She told me that it’s safe with her though, she will tell hs dead and they will get us help. Finally, finally someone knows.

Ryan was mad, way too mad and didn’t want to hear anything about it. When his mum asked him if he didn’t want to get help, he hit her. I screamed for him to stop, luckily his dead could tackle him and get him to stop. 

We still have a lot to do, but things will change for the better. Ryan will leave tomorrow to go to a place where they will treat his addiction. He doesn’t want to admit that he’s got a drugs problem, but he is willing to go there. He told me that the people he works for aren’t always that nice to him and that he wants to stop. 

We will move to the otherside of England and I hope that everything will change for the better. At least Ryan will be clean when he leaves, so he won’t be that aggressive anymore.  
I’m thinking about writing mum a letter to tell her that I’m safe and that I am going to move. I won’t tell her where to though, I have to know that Ryan stops treating me the way he does now before I can let her in again. Hell, I don’t even know if she wants to be in contact anymore. I must’ve hurt her a lot by shutting her out. I would get it if she does not want to be in contact with her anymore. 

I ruined so many things. I can’t be a good son, I can’t be a good brother, I can’t be a good friend, I can’t be a good boyfriend. Why am I such a disgrace. I basically am a useless creature. Sometimes I wonder why I even bother being alive, I can’t do anything right. It might be better for everyone if I just disappeared. It’s better to have no brother, friend, son or boyfriend than one who can do nothing right.

I don’t have the courage to do it though. 

Louis T.

The tears wouldn’t stop. All Harry could do was cry silently. It hurt him so bad, he wanted Louis t have a nice life. Louis seemed really nice and like a genuinely caring person. He didn’t deserve to be treated the way he was. Harry wanted to help him and to give him a better life, but he couldn’t do anything. He knew the man was 23 and that his name is Louis Tomlinson, but that’s it. He can’t search where he lives and march in and tell him to go and live with him. That Ryan boy would probably freak out and kill Harry. Harry was scared for Louis. He now got why Louis wanted to protect him. It had seemed stupid to him in the beginning, but he got it now. Louis had hurt to many people already.

A lot has happened, in the beginning mainly good things, but I don’t know how things are now. It’s different.

So Ryan quit his job as drugs dealer, and got admitted to a mental hospital to get treated for his drugs problem. It really did him good. The beatings have decreased a lot, like really. There’s still the occasional beating, especially when he’s having a hard time staying off the drugs. But it’s really getting better He tells me he loves me a lot more now, never realised that I needed that, but I do now.

As I said before, we moved. I got myself a job as librarian when Ryan was in treatment, he actually thought it was a good idea for me to keep doing it, so I am. I really like it there, it’s nice to recommend people books and my colleagues are all very nice too. I really enjoy my time at work and it’s nice to be surrounded by people again.

I also found this nice cottage in the forest. It’s not that big, but big enough to spend some time in. It’s perfect for painting. I love to be in touch with the nature and the cottage really gives me that feeling. It was abandoned when I got there the first time. I cleaned it completely and I brought some stuff to make it a little cosier. It’s nice and it gives me a safe feeling. 

About three months after Ryan got back again, he asked me to marry him. I said yes, sometimes I wonder why though. But he loves me and I love him, we may have some ‘arguments’ some time but it’s only because we love each other. I am thinking about asking my mum to come too, but I don’t know if I got the guts to do it. I asked Ryan and he just shrugged. He said that he wasn’t me to be happy, but I don’t know if I even know what it mean to be happy. I mean it’s not that I’m not content with the way I’m living, but sometimes the world just seems dull. Sometimes I just feel like I don’t belong on the earth

The wedding is in three months from now, we will marry in January. We wanted to do it n December first, but we have too many celebrations then already. So we decided Januar would be perfect for a winter wedding too. I am looking forward to it, I hope some more things will change for the better. I will be his, even legally, and I hope that’s enough for him.

As I said the beatings are less frequently, but our sex life has changed drastically. He somehow got into bondage and slapping during sex, and I don’t know how to feel about that. It seems like he is making up for the beatings he keeps himself from doing during the day. Before he went to the hospital our sex life was as good as dead, but now we’re on it like once a day. It actually scares me. Sex was what showed me that he still loved me a lot, he really made love to me, but I feel like we’re losing that. I have told him I don’t like it to be dominated in this way, but he thinks I’m joking.

I’m going to try my hardest to at least keep liking it as much as I do now, I mean once I can’t come any more it’s done. Than he’ll be so mad at me, I don’t even want to think about it. 

Louis T.

Harry shook his head, the beatings may have decreased, but that didn’t mean that Louis’ situation is getting any better. Ryan is now practically raping him every time they have sex, which is every day. There were only shatters of Harry’s heart left, he felt so bad for Louis. He felt really bad for reading it a well. He took his pen in his hand, he had to let Louis know that he’d read it. It wouldn’t be fair, Louis had let him know as well.

Harry put the pen to paper, he decided to write on the last paper of the journal. He would leave Louis his number as well if he ever needed any one, he would be able to contact Harry.

Dear Louis,

I was on a search for matches and happened to find your diary. I’ve read it all. I’m sorry, but I had to know. I had this feeling that something was wrong, but I couldn’t ask you. When I found this I knew it would give me the answers I desperately needed. I’m really sorry you had to go through this all. Especially alone, that’s the worst thing that can happen to a person. I want you to know that you still can talk to me about whatever it is. I’ll leave you my number underneath this little letter. I get it if you don’t want to talk to me anymore after this. I invaded your privacy and I would hate it if someone did that to me. I hope you understand why I did it and that you can forgive me. I promise not to treat you any different. I hope you will get out of this, stay strong Louis. You can do it, you are so strong.

Big love,  
Harry

Harry placed the book on the table, he didn’t want to keep it a secret from Louis that he’d read it, plus his next letter was in there. He didn’t want Louis to think that he didn’t write him.

Harry killed the fire that was flaming in the fireplace and took his jacket from the stool he had dropped it on. He put on his jacket, key in hand to lock the place. He walked back to his car, still deep in thought about what he’d read. He wanted to help Louis, but he had no idea how.

-

It had been a week since Harry read the journal. Louis hadn’t written him, it hurt but Harry got it. He had done things that were unforgivable. He should’ve asked Louis if it was okay to read it before doing so. Harry had left a letter every time he came to the cottage and it would be gone the next time, just not replaced.

Harry thought about it while walking to the cottage, he hoped that Louis would’ve left him a letter. He was really worried about the man. He had this gutfeeling that something bad had happened.

When Harry tried to unlock the lock that was on the door, it didn’t give in. When Harry looked why, he found that the lock was already unlocked. He immediately got creeps, his gutfeeling was probably right. He slowly opened the door, it gave in as easily as always. He saw a little bundle on the couch, it was a body wrapped in the blue blanket he loved most. Some feathery brown hair flopping out of the carefully made bundle of blankets. 

Harry’s heartbeat quickly increased, was this Louis? Was he finally going to have a face to the man he had had contact with over the past two months. The man who occupied his mind most of the time. The man who was responsible for him not being able to think properly anymore.

The bundle of blankets got smaller, if that was possible. It stayed silent. It looked like the person just wanted to disappear right than and there. 

“Louis?” Harry whispered, trying not to break the thick silent in the cottage.

A head peeked out of the blankets. Big blue eyes as wide as possible. They were beautiful in Harry’s opinion. So scared though. The man didn’t give an answer, but Harry was positive that it was Louis. It couldn’t be anyone else.

“It’s me, Harry,” Harry whispered again. He saw that a bit of the fear in Louis’ eyes faded. 

“I won’t hurt you, Louis,” Harry said. He broke the silence now, he hoped that his voice would calm Louis a bit. The man seemed shaken, something definitely was wrong. Louis wouldn’t break one of his own rules, and he had broken two now. One being being here on Harry’s day and two being having slept here.  
Harry saw that Louis’ lips moved, but he couldn’t make out what the man said. “What did you say, Louis?” Harry approached the man, but the fear in his eyes came back again. So Harry took a step back.

“I’m sorry, you have to talk a bit louder, Lou. I can’t hear you.”

“I know you won’t hurt me,” Louis whispered.

Harry sighed, glad that Louis at least knew that he wouldn’t hurt him. That he understood that not everyone was the same as Ryan.

“What happened? Do you want to tell me?” Harry asked gently. Louis immediately shook his head. 

“Okay, I brought a book. I’ll sit down on the loveseat, read a bit and when you’re ready to talk to me just do, right. I brought you a muffin too, I don’t know if you’re hungry,” Harry shrugged. He took the book out of his bag and sat down.

It was silent for a few minutes, until Louis broke it. “Harry,” he said. Harry immediately looked up from his book, he wanted to hear that beautiful voice again. It was laced with pain, the same as he could read on Louis’ face, but it was one of the most beautiful sounds he’d ever heard.

“Yea, Louis?” Harry said. Louis shook his head again, intending that it was nothing. “What’s it Louis, please talk to me, I can’t magically know what’s up,” he said, he tried to sounds as gentle as possible, but actually flinched at his own tone.

“I’m kind of hungry,” Louis whispered. Harry smiled at him, glad that Louis found the confidence to tell him.

“Oh, yea of course. I’ll get you the muffin, I brought a bottle of water too. You can have it,” Harry said as he took the utensils out of his bag. He handed them to Louis, who took them immediately. He eyed the other corner of the couch, as if he was asking Harry to sit down there.

“Do you want me to sit there?” He decided to ask. Louis first seemed to want Harry to be as far as possible, but it looked like he was warming up to Harry now. Louis nodded, not looking Harry in the eye. Harry took his book and sat down in the other corner of the couch.

Harry could feel Louis eyes on him, but he didn’t mind. He just wanted Louis to be happy again, even if it took him murdering Harry, he’d be happy to let Louis do that to him.

Louis picked on the muffin, taking little bites of it. He drank some water too. Harry observed him out of the corner of his eye, he didn’t want to spy on Louis, but somehow he couldn’t stop looking at him. He had seen Louis open his mouth a few times, as if he wanted to say something, but changed his mind again.  
“He raped me,” Louis whispered. He swallowed a few times, trying not to cry, but it didn’t work.

“Oh Louis, I’m so sorry,” Harry looked at him. His heart hurt, that Louis had to go through that again and again. He couldn’t bear it. 

Louis shook his head, “I deserved it.” 

“Louis, listen to me,” Harry looked Louis straight in the eye, “it’s never your fault, okay. All the things he’s done to you are not normal. You didn’t deserve to get hit by him, you didn’t deserve to get raped and you certainly didn’t deserve to live your life miserably.” 

A few tears slipped from Harry’s eye, and he felt so stupid for crying. He was only at the side lines of all that had happened, and it had hurt him so much to only read it. Louis shifted, it was like he needed someone to hold him. Harry was too scared to shuffle closer though, he didn’t want to scare the man away.

“I was asleep and he brought his friend,” Louis said. More tears sliding down his cheek, leaving a trail behind.

“Oh, Lou, I’m so sorry,” Harry cried. He didn’t know what to say. It was kind of awkward, two crying man in a cottage that they shared, despite never having met each other.

“Is it okay for me to touch you?” Harry asked. He couldn’t stand to look at Louis anymore, he wanted to comfort the man badly. He just wasn’t sure if the man would let him.

Louis shocked everybody, including himself, when he moved, he planted his head on Harry’s chest and let Harry wrap his arms around him. Harry sighed, he was glad to be allowed to comfort the man. It was probably a big step, Louis was hurt most of the time the past years. He had lost all contact with people he loved. On top of that he had been raped not that long ago.

“I’m proud of you,” Harry whispered in the man’s hair. 

Louis looked up, eyes still watery. “Why?” He asked with a croaked voice.

“You’ve been through so much and you still let me, a complete stranger, comfort you,” Harry says truthfully.

“‘S easier,” Louis mumbles. He buries his head in Harry’s chest again. 

Harry isn’t quite sure, but he thinks he hears Louis mumble ‘save’ into his chest. A warm feeling spreads throughout his chest. 

“Do you want to tell me about it, Lou?” Harry mumbled.

Louis furiously shook his head. “No, it’s dirty, I am dirty.”

“Louis, you can’t change what happened and maybe it makes you feel dirty, you ain’t to me. You couldn’t do a thing about it. It was all him, there’s nothing wrong with you. It’s him who’s got a fucked up mind, not you. He intimidated you and played with your feelings, I don’t blame you. It’s not your fucking fault,” Harry started out slowly, but spitted the last few words out. He was furious about what the man had done to Louis, a wonderful creature like him didn’t deserve to be treated like that.

Louis shook his head again. “No, no Harry.”

“Hey, shh, it’s okay, don’t worry. It’s fine if you don’t want to talk about it, I get it okay. Just know that I’m there. Did you save my number into your phone?” Harry said.

Louis shook his head again, “no, but I can remember it. I don’t want him to check my phone and find out about you.”

“I-uh-thanks,” Harry mumbled, he didn’t know what to say.

The two didn’t talk for a while, but just stayed like they were before. 

“Do you- do you know what you’re going to do now?” Harry asked. He wanted Louis to offer to stay with him, but he knew the man wouldn’t accept it.

“I think I’m going home, grab some things and stay here for a while. He doesn’t know about this place and he probably won’t come looking for me,” Louis told Harry.

“You could always stay with me, I really don’t mind,” Harry said. 

“No, no, I’m okay with staying here,” Louis said. 

“Let me at least bring you an inflatable bed and some proper blankets then,” Harry said. It was way too cold for the small man to stay in the cottage overnight, even with a fire.

“Okay, yea, thank you Harry. Thank you for being so kind to me. I will make it up to you,” Louis whispered. You could hear the honesty in his voice, he was honestly thankful for Harry.

Harry had gone home only to come back with the things he said he would bring. He had also brought a thermos with tea, to hopefully keep Louis warm. Louis had thanked him once again and then the curly haired boy left the cottage.

-

Harry only had time to go to the cottage again two days later. He had planned to go there around 2 PM, but rushed there as he got a message. The message said “Help”, he was immediately warned, knowing that it was Louis.

So at 11 AM Harry rushed to the cottage. Driving carefully though, as it had snowed the night before. When he came there, he could see that the door was open already. That was yet another sign that something was wrong. 

When Harry entered the cottage he found the pictures he had printed and Louis’ paintings lying on the floor, all ruined. The table wasn’t standing on four legs anymore, but was flipped on it’s side and the other furniture wasn’t in the same positions as it had been. It was like a storm had gone throughout the little home. 

Harry saw a phone lying on the floor, next to the table. He assumed it was Louis’, but he didn’t know for sure. He wanted to pick it up, but decided against it. If he was going to inform the police he had to leave as less prints as he could.

Harry took his own phone in his hand, calling the police. The phone rang twice before someone picked up.

“Officer Swartz, how can I help you?” A man with a dark voice asked. Harry shivered at the sound of the man’s voice.

“Hello?” The man questioned.

“Oh, er, yes, sorry. I’m calling ‘cause my friend’s in danger,” Harry said.

“Can you be a bit more specific please?” The man asked.

“He is in an abusive relationship and was staying over in a cottage in the forest to escape his boy-fiancé. He send me a message half an hour ago, in which he asked for my help. I came to the cottage and it’s ruined, and Louis is missing,” Harry explained. He tried his hardest not to cry. He didn’t know what was happening to Louis, he felt like Ryan was behind it, but he wasn’t sure. 

“I’m sorry, boy. But we can’t do anything unless a person’s missing for 24 hours,” the officer told Harry.

“But-but, really?” Harry asked, it was getting too much for him now. Louis was in serious danger and he couldn’t help him. 

“Yes, son. I’m sorry, try again tomorrow. I’d advise you not to do anything, because you described a seriously dangerous situation. If the fiancé is after this, he’ll have thought it out,” the officer warned. 

“Okay, thank you Sir. You’ll hear from me tomorrow,” Harry said.

“Goodbye, and remember what I told you,” the man said before hanging up.

Harry wanted to do something so badly, he knew going after Louis wasn’t an option. Ryan probably would be able to shake Harry off. He wasn’t trained or anything, hell he wouldn’t even hurt a fly. 

Harry couldn’t stop himself from following the footprints Louis and Ryan had left behind though. He knew he shouldn’t do it, but he didn’t want to feel useless either. 

Harry had followed the trail for about a hundred meters when he found a little paper. It was soaked, because of the snow, but Harry hoped he could still read whatever was on it. Harry took it with him back to the cottage, as he had decided that it was useless to follow the trail. Even if he found the men, he wouldn’t be able to do anything. One because Ryan would probably be much stronger than him and two because Louis wouldn’t let Ryan hurt him. Louis would sacrifice his life to have Ryan stop hurting anyone other than Louis himself. 

Harry got back to the cottage, he closed the door after him. He unfolded the paper he’d found carefully. It said ‘Ryan’ and a number, which seemed to be a phone number. Harry knew it was Louis’, he had seen that handwriting lots of times before. Harry prent the phone number, he couldn’t forget it. Not now.

He took his phone out of his pocket and looked at the text Louis had send him again. He compared the numbers, they weren’t the same. Louis probably had texted him with his own phone and left him Ryan’s number. Harry didn’t know why, but he did know that it was important otherwise Louis wouldn’t have left it.

What could Harry do with the information he had gathered? He didn’t know, but he decided to take the phone, which was lying on the floor, Louis’ diary and the letter Louis had left with him. Maybe he could figure this out at home.

When Harry stepped into his car, he decided to go to the police station, maybe the officer on the wouldn’t want to help him, but he had evidence now. He didn’t get the correlation yet, but he knew the officers would be able to see it.

Harry entered the station, he was feeling angsty, but he had to help Louis. He would do whatever it took to get Louis safe in his arms.

The lady behind the desk asked him how she could help him. Harry asked if he could talk to an officer, preferably not officer Swartz. The woman searched for a free officer and found one, she send Harry in his office to talk.

Harry entered the office and was met with a young officer. He hoped that this guy would be more compassionate as officer Swartz had been. The officer nodded to the chair opposite him and Harry sat down.

“Hello, I’m officer DeLorent, how can I help you?” He said, smiling to Harry. He tried to reassure him that everything would be alright with that smile.

“Hi, I’m Harry,” Harry extended his hand to the man sitting opposite him, the officer took it and shook it.

“Harry, how can I help you? Please be as specific as possible, as it would make it easier to help you.”

Harry told the man what he had told officer Swartz before, plus the things that had happened after he called the man. He showed Louis’ diary and the note to the man. He also showed him the text Louis had sent him and the phone he had found.

“Normally I wouldn’t be able to help you, as Louis isn’t missing for over 24 hours, but seen the evidence you’ve brought I think I’ll be able to help you,” DeLorent said. A smile broke through on Harry’s face. He had done the good thing for once in his life, even though he was told not to.

“Okay, I’m don’t get how this is helpful, but I’m glad you are able to help,” Harry said.

“It was really smart of Louis to leave Ryan’s phone number, we are able to track phones by phone numbers. So if Ryan still has his phone on him, we can track him and hopefully find Louis,” DeLorent explained. Harry finally got it and he was glad that Louis was that smart. 

“I’ll have to talk to my colleagues a bit before we can actually get in action, but you can go home now Harry. Leave your phone number with the lady in the front, and we’ll call you as soon as we have news on this case. Thank you,” DeLorent said. He was typing away on his computer, probably processing 

The two said goodbye to each other and Harry went home after leaving his phone number.

-

At around 8 O’Clock he got a phone call, the number unknown, which had praying him that it would either be Louis or the station. It was the latter, who had called him. They had found Louis. Louis was currently getting a check up at the hospital as they weren’t sure in what state he was, it looked pretty bad. They had taken Ryan to the station, and he would be in jail for a while. They had done a domiciliary visit and found about 3 kilograms of heroin in a cupboard.

Harry was relieved and beyond happy. Louis was safe, maybe he was in hospital now and not fully healthy, but he was alive. 

Louis didn’t have anybody, so Harry figured he should visit Louis in the hospital. He also wanted to know how Louis was doing, but he had left Louis’ phone at the police station, so he wouldn’t be able to text him.

Despite having a long day already, Harry drove to the hospital. He asked for Louis Tomlinson and he found Louis. Louis looked really small surrounded by the whites of the hospital bed. He was asleep, and looked peaceful even though he had been through a lot not that pleasant events the past years. Maybe it was the knowing that he was freed from all the shit, what made him peaceful.

Harry sat down in the chair next to his bed, he waited for the small lad to wake up. He hoped it would happen before visiting hours were over, as he desperately wanted Louis to know that he was going to take care of him. 

A nurse walked in and told Harry what had happened and what injuries Louis had. He had a few broken ribs, a broken rib and they had found evidence of rape. Harry shuddered, being confronted with that again still hurt.

Louis eyes fluttered open just after the nurse had left. She had told Harry that he had half an hour and then he had to leave, as visiting times would be over. 

“Hi,” Harry whispered.

“Hi,” Louis said with a croaked voice. He smiled at Harry.

“Do you know what happened?” Harry asked. 

Louis nodded, “They got him.”

“They do,” Harry smiled, “I’m gonna look for a nurse, I don’t know if they need to know if you’re awake.”

Harry searched for a nurse and found the one who had just been in Louis’ room. “He’s awake,” Harry told her. 

“Alright,” she answered, ”you didn’t have to tell me, but thank you. I’ll check up on him.”

“Thank you,” Harry nodded. They walked to Louis’ room together.

“If everything’s fine tomorrow, you’ll be allowed t leave,” the nurse told Louis. He got immensely pale after the nurse had told him that.

“I have nowhere to go,” he whispered. 

“Don’t worry, you can stay with me,” Harry immediately said.

“No, Harry, I can’t take that,” Louis argued.

“Lou, you’re gonna stay with me, that’s final. I don’t want you to spend anymore time at the house you and Ryan lived in. I don’t want you to contact his parents either, even though they’ve been nothing but nice. You have to process what happened and if you’re constantly reminded of it, that won’t happen. Okay?” Harry said, he gave Louis a stern look.

Louis just looked at the nurse, hoping she would help him in this. The nurse shook her head and said: “I’d take the offer this nice man just gave you, I think you’ll be in good hands with him.”

“Okay, fine. Thank you Harry,” Louis said.

-

The next day Louis went home with Harry. The latter had cleared out a room at his home already where the older could stay. The older was really thankful for that, he wasn’t ready to share a room with someone again. He really relied on Harry though, wherever Harry went he went too. He was always within Harry’s reach, except when sleeping. 

Harry had taken Louis to see a therapist, and they were working things out. They were getting Louis to be more dependent. He became more dependent, but still stayed close to Harry. It was because he was comfortable around him, he didn’t feel the need to have Harry to protect him anymore. 

It didn’t take that long for their relationship to shift from friendship to a romance. Louis was finally loved the way a person should be loved, maybe he was even spoiled with love. Harry felt like he had to make up for the damage that Ryan had done.

Harry had also helped Louis to get in contact with his family again. He wasn’t ready to tell them what had happened, but his mum had welcomed him back into the family within seconds, the same thing went for Harry. Jay could see the love between them and she knew that Louis was blessed with the man he had luckily found. She was glad to have the two in her life.

And the cottage was still used. The men used it as get away from reality. They had broken all the rules that Louis had once written down. They slept in it, they brought each other, their lovers, in there and they had made love there too. As some people say, rules are there to be broken.


End file.
